Death to the Trees
by XSpaRkieX
Summary: What happens when Diva suspects that trees are trying to seduce Riku away from her? Read and figure it out!


Death to the Trees

He was staring blankly out the window again.

Diva pouted as she realized Riku was more interested in the trees then in her. She wanted his attention focused on her, and for him to forget everything else. She ran her fingers slowly along his cheek, but he ignored her actions.

She was annoyed now. All she wanted was attention, but in her eyes, he was selfishly denying her what was hers by right. So much time receiving this kind of treatment from her chevaliers had made it seem normal to her, and when she didn't get it, it felt like losing a right of life.

She started a trail of kisses up his arm, not so much to be romantic, but to make sure he was ready when she got to the mouth. When she reached his face, her lips met with a cheekbone. She pulled back, offended now. What did she have to do to get this boy to stop ignoring her?

When Diva wanted something, it was no easy task to wean her off it. She took about a minute or two to formulate a new plan; one that she knew would get him to stop looking at those damn trees.

Diva leaned close to him, and pulled him into a hug. It was no accident that Riku's face met with her breasts, and Diva looked down expecting a look of arousal. She was met with the same bored expression.

Could it be that he had grown accustomed to her inappropriate actions? Or did he just not find her attractive anymore? She banished that thought on the grounds that he hadn't been this way last night.

It must be the trees, Diva reasoned with her flawless logic. Those bastards were moving in on her Riku. She wouldn't let those filthy bark-covered whores steal Riku from her. She knew what had to be done.

"Can you say that once more please Diva," Solomon said cocking his head slightly, "I didn't quite catch you."

Diva rolled eyes. "I want you to cut down all the trees within a 100 kilometer radius of my room." She said, as if this were something that she asked for regularly.

"Diva, I don't think we OWN that many trees."

"I. Want. All. The. Trees. Dead. Now." Diva repeated slowly, just to make sure Solomon could hear her. He seemed to have a problem with his ears today.

Solomon sighed, because he knew that he couldn't win against Diva. She may not be patient, but she is tenacious.

"Alright, I'll cut down every tree on the property." Solomon said.

"NO!" Diva shouted, "I don't want to be able to see a single tree, no matter how far away it is!"

She pulled out her sword and handed it to Solomon.

"Bring Karl with you, it'll get done faster."

As far as Solomon was concerned, bringing Karl would only slow the process, as he would insist that not a molecule of what offended Diva could exist in this world. Destroying one tree might take hours.

Solomon hung his head, and went off to do the psychotic will of the chiropteran queen.

Diva returned to her room, only to find Riku still looking at the fucking trees. Her eyes glowed with hatred for all that the over-grown weeds represented. She wanted Solomon and Karl to finish as fast as they could.

Her eyes returned to normal as Riku looked over to her and smiled warmly. She felt a surge of relief. At least she wasn't out of the picture totally. She walked over, and hugged him. He squeezed her back, but soon let go, and returned to his bored stare.

Diva sat and sulked. It had been three hours, and the trees still tormented her. Where were her chevaliers?

In the Forest

Solomon sat on the stump of a tree, but stood quickly as it was ripped from the earth by Karl, and thrown into a large 30 ft. deep pit her had dug. The pit was filled with fire, and Karl laughed with joy as it burned his newfound enemy.

"This is the most inefficient way to do Mother's bidding Karl, you know that don't you?" Solomon tried to reason with the man.

"We could do it fast, or we could do it right." Karl stated, incinerating another defenseless sapling.

"You just love killing these poor trees don't you?"

Karl nodded vigorously.

"I thought so."

"WHY WON'T YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME DAMMIT?!?" Diva roared at Riku, almost knocking the poor boy back in his chair, "AND WHAT'S WORSE, YOU WON'T STOP OGGLING THE FUCKING TREES!"

"W-w-w-what?" Riku squeaked timidly.

"DON'T THINK I DIDN"T SEE YOU UNDRESSING THEM WITH YOUR EYES!" Diva was almost in tears now. The pain of being abandoned for a tree was to much to bear.

Realization seemed to shine in Riku's eyes.

"Diva, before I came here, my hobby was pruning bonsai trees, I was just wishing I could do it again."

"Really?" Diva asked, all anger now gone.

"Yes, I just wanted to restart my hobby."

Diva smiled.

Eight day's later

"OW!" She yelped as she clipped herself with the shears.

"No Diva, like this." Riku showed her the correct method by gripping her hands, and working her through the motions. She had messed up on purpose to get this contact.

The door slammed open, and a satisfied Karl and exhausted Solomon entered.

"We've destroyed all the trees Mother." Solomon rasped, desperately needing a meal.

"Oh, I changed my mind." Diva said happily, "I like trees now."

Solomon handed the sword to Riku and slit his finger over it. Saya's blood ran down the blade. Solomon kneeled before Riku.

"Please, run me through."

**THE END!**


End file.
